Agreed. If ever there's another picture that captures, "Cock, plz?" more perfectly, it's a fucking lie.

@Dwight-K-Schrute: Preemptive. A mob ass-kicking was imminent even though you'd think Seattle fans would be used to losing.

@Debbie Magill: Going by a basketball jersey that another fan was wearing toward to end of the video, I think he's just wearing the defunct Seattle Sonics windbreaker.

It's terrible because the Mariners are in such close contention. What's that? 15 games back and just as many below .500? Carry on, kid.

I haven't wondered since Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

@UweBollocks: Streeeeeeeeeetch.

Germany thought that playing like Paraguay would get them bonus points with Riquelme.

Ah yes, Guernica was to be expected.

@AmosTrue: Aw, come on. He's not about dick and hand-job posts here. I'm sure you've heard it already, but he was half-trolling because some of the readers took his presence like he just pissed on their parade. The shitstorm was foreseeable.

@Violet-B: BOOOOO!!!!!

You done good, Daulerio. You done good.

The Facebook post is gone but now I'm perusing through her photo albums. Fuck.

Semenya? Come on! The proof is staring you in the face.

@JohnDoe: You bastard.

@JohnDoe: You bastard.

It's called the immaculate orgasm. Not only did Mary have one without getting boned, she got pregnant with the big J.

*Double Post Deleted*

*Triple Post Deleted, Deadspin's servers must be trippin' balls*

I put money on the Dutch, as much as I don't want them to advance.

@ Jezebel readers, FYI: I see that your "World Cup Thighlights" posts are often cross-linked over at Deadspin and that many of you are soccer fans and/or are following the World Cup. We have had open-threads for each match, if you're interested or if there aren't any posted here. The next one will open up tomorrow…