It wouldn’t surprise me if R32s came with crack pipes.. LOL

“What is my purpose?”

That advice is....(•_•) / ( •_•)>⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■)...right on target. 

Under no circumstance should anyone buy a Dodge Dart

I personally have never bought a used car with more than 20,000 miles.  I usually like something newer, but has some depreciation taken off.

No more than old cars looked like they had a finger in their butts when gassing up.

When its charging, does it look like a car with a finger up its nose?

I wondered how in the future we’re supposed to sign a piece of paper with a pen with our lobster claw hand while luxuriating in a tiny i3.  And WTH is her purse doing?

I just know that my brain saw a pixelated topless lady. I looked away and back again, same thing.

So, the chauffeur might sit next to someone’s bare feet...

They don't have any kids, that small person is actually their maid. 

Same. I had previously whitelisted the GMG sites. But I just can’t do it any more. I want to support them, but went way too far.

GODZUKI!

Cyberian truck.

No giant monsters? You haven’t been out in the country around here and seen one of them big’uns then. They can run up to about 6' 4" and up to around 600 lbs, a small big’un is about 6' and 400 lbs, most frequently spotted on motorized scooters in WalMarts when they emerge to feed.

While I certainly always knew it was possible, I honestly never thought I’d actually see a David Tracy byline with “Jeep Museum” and “Erect” in the same headline, but here we are…

Eh. Everyone here is doing Kinja wrong. Just be drunk at work like I am and everything looks the same. 

...”I’ve already wrapped myself around a tree”

I'm a born-and-bred Alabamian and this sounds EXACTLY like a true Southern mom to me. To the point that I think I sat up a little straighter in my chair when she came on the line.

Really? I'm from the south and she seemed super duper on point, then again I'm also from Raleigh so maybe she's just super duper Raleighesque.