Which is probably why the Nobel Prize for Harmonica went to my neighbor Shady Pete. Bob’s lucky the committee threw him that “literature” bone, since he couldn’t win for the category where his heart is.

I interpreted it as, “My husband is overreacting, but I don’t want another fight” comment.

I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that the people quoted have the last name Nfinger.

rude.

I really tried to like this show but Rebecca was terrible! I made it through four episodes and quit. Does she get better? Should I give it a second chance?

WARNING- LONG STORY AHEAD- Something I have been experiencing lately, as a woman who is older, is that men who have known me for a long time will sometime make creepy comments or jokes on my FB, because they think I am still 22. What I have done is immediately delete their comments and confronted them via messenger to…

Lil Jon confirmed reports that Donald Trump called him “Uncle Tom”

This guy once sued newspapers for defamation because they published that he had been diagnosed with aids but lost because he was the source.

Has anybody at the Trump campaign heard of Google? Why would you put this obvious liar out there. Wasn’t Trump original defense he had never been on a plane with that woman. How stupid are these people?

I don’t know why but this monologue cracked me up. Sorry the acting was bad but your take wasn’t.

“I’m so very sorry, but when we were stitching you up Dr. WTF sewed his finger to your labia. It didn’t worsen the tear, but fluids mixed and we do need to do an HIV test. After we re-sew.”

My kids are watching your show on Netflix right now! It’s the one where this kid is on a plane with his dad and he keeps seeing a grim reaper face on this little old lady knitting a sweater a few seats over. And he and his dad are freaking out. No one else seems to notice. Wait. The kid just called his dad “dude.” I…

Barack’s pictures with children and his genuine delight interacting with them is one of the 1,000 things I will miss about him.

I very recently was in the shower and felt what seemed like, well, poop in between my cheeks. I reached back figuring I’d clean it out and pulled a worm out of my ass. Like a six inch long white worm. I screamed and threw it on the floor and it was wriggling around. My SO came running in looked at it and said “this…

You can get dead people’s nipples too.

And now, your Friday feels:

Well, it wasn’t a doctor, but my dentist told me my wisdom teeth were basically beneath my cheekbones and there was a chance they could migrate to my eye sockets.

Okay so it’s not really “gross” and I probably told this story before, but it’s still hilarious to me.

in the not particularly gross but fairly embarrassing column: my doctor once told me i had the largest tonsils he’d ever seen, so i went up for a high five.

You know, I’m gonna say something I think we all need to remember. It’s good to have an adversary, and better to have a worthy one.