Someone trapped in there trying to kill me?
More like someone trapped in there with me.
Bring it.

this happens w me and my stepdad all the time.

It’s the same for my aunt! Everyone goes on about how she looks like her (non-biological) mother. Extra funny, it’s the hair color that everyone comments on, and they both dye their hair. They always reply “Yes yes, we get it from the same bottle!” which everyone inexplicably seems to take as a cute way to say that…

My favourite thing is when people tell me how much I look like my parents. They’ll go on and on about how it’s amazing I’m just like my mom. One guy even said “It’s crazy, you look just like your grandfather!”

I’ve gotten to the point where I just smile knowingly and say, “Yes, that is truly amazing considering the…

Shiloh Pitt-Jolie looks like parents but not an American civil war battlefield shocker.

Where did you find a picture of me and my mom on the internet, Madeleine

I’m so not used to seeing folks who accept criticism and change their behavior. Is this even the internet?

Keep at it, Rose. Don’t let them crush your message in a garage door.

On the other hand, I’m personally not a fan of having a dirty plate sitting in front of me for 15 or 20 minutes. I prefer for it to be taken away. Why does the waiter taking your plate make you feel rushed? Why aren’t you just as rushed by the fact that your dining companions are clearly done?

Does this motherfucker not understand that this is what WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO BY EVERY CUSTOMER? Every time you complain about us taking away your dirty dishes, we get complained at 500 times more for not removing fucking garbage. You OCD weirdshits.

The other night I was eating a plate of noodles, and enjoying it. I was out to dinner with a friend, hunched over a meal we had been planning for weeks. The restaurant was newly opened and highly regarded. Life was good. And the food was great.

I, for one, cannot wait until Ferdman tells us about the time a literal Communist tried to refill his water glass too soon.

“Yeah, that’s not cool,” said Professor Funkelschlotz.

I will never understand this attitude. I HATE the two minute check or whatever it’s called, when the waiter comes over to see if everything’s okay when you have taken 0-2 bites of your food. But it would never occur to me to blame the waiter for that. It literally happens at every single restaurant. Does he think all…

I couldn’t fit this in the post itself, but it made me laugh:

You know what the appropriate response is when a server asks to bus your table but you don’t want them to?

How dare the server ask to take that empty plate away! It was his. He had it monogrammed to make a complete set of tableware.

Why the hell does he even care about his dirty but otherwise empty dish being cleared away? Why does he *want* that thing in front of him? Seriously? I have no problem with servers pre-bussing. I always figured it wasn’t to get me out the door quicker, but to increase the chance I’ll order dessert and give them an…