I knew all about these teen tricks because I USED TO BE A TEEN.

This is a revelation to who? Who didn’t attend these kind of parties as a teenager? Or know people who did? Minus the social media and cell phones it seems like pretty much every “great” party I went to as a teenager down to asking older guys to buy alcohol. Hello. Are people that stupid?

We probably have flavors in the Midwest that Californians don’t know, like rutabaga and kahlrabi. It’s almost as if places with different climates/geography produce different foodstuffs.. Crazy.

…that's the point yes.

This is the point at which you buy a shock collar and prepare for a long weekend.

Omg omg omg omg omg omg

It was great, because I'd just moved there from Ohio maybe a month earlier. My eyebrows had to be surgically removed from the middle of my scalp after I heard that. ;)

When I lived in CA, I worked in a kitchen in close proximity to the public. One day, I overheard someone say to his dining companion, “You know, we’re really much more knowledgable about food here in California because we’re so diverse and love all kinds of food. I mean, we have flavors that people in the Midwest…

A yuppie and his date came into the bar. It was obviously early in the relationship and he was obviously showing her how urbane he was.

If I’d been married to Ike Turner, I would also carry a pocket crossbow.

Garbage ass bras that do nothing for me.

No wonder their guacamole is so damned lame. Proper guacamole needs a FUCK TON of lime juice, and a similar FUCK TON of cilantro (haters to the left). Also sea salt, finely diced grape tomatoes, and a hefty dose of cumin (powder, not whole seeds).

They must have been deep in their cups and really strapped for cash when they decided to band together to pull this off. I wonder how they’ll be caught - maybe one of them was wearing a wire?

It must have been an uplifting experience for them.

“he’s also quite possibly the greatest boxer who has ever lived.”

Floyd?

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Floyd got confused. He forgot you hug women and punch boxers, not the other way around.

Floyd Mayweather is a wifebeater and Pacquiao hates gay people and contraception so I hope they both knock each other out