He’ll be fine, Denver's the perfect place to spark up a Bol.

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

At this point, the easiest thing for the Warriors to do is just buy the knob out of his shares.

Him and most of Alabama with the exception of Saban.

by telling the guy arguing “we cannot improve healthcare for all americans, in a way every other first world country already has, because that might negatively impact my vast wealth” to fuck off, op

They're just pigeons. 

I know it’s jeets and he’s a legend but nobody’s just going to gift it to him. Success isn’t wrapped up neatly in a basket. 

Great, now other teams are going t try to find strength training coaches who have been charged with sexual battery to try to duplicate the Rams’ success...

“Man, This Is Some Racist Shit To Do In An Amateur Hockey Game”

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.

“Nobody believed in us.”

It’s fucking hilarious to me that Bob Kraft is going to a $200 rub and tug in fucking florida

The problem isn’t the NFL, none of these products are designed to the compete with the NFL. The problem here is College Football. That’s who these products are competing with.

The NFL’s Brand Equity is lodged in America’s taint.

While the stinky food’s steamin’, your mind starts to dreamin’
Of the moment that it’s time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken’s slowly rottin’
Into something that looks like cheese

Deion And Bo both played just one season each in the minors because they were fun and exciting players who could help major league teams win. Remember that? Playing to win games?? I hate owners so much 

Yeah, whistle wasn’t for three-seconds, it was for copyright infringement.

I find it hilarious that Dukes eventually went on to play Freddy Krueger and Rorschach.

Revenge is a dish best served Gould.