We’ll (probably) never know what started this fight, but it’s never not enjoyable to see someone talk a whole bunch and then get beaten up right after.

The only shocking part of this story is that it wasn’t the St. Louis Cardinals. 

True story: When I was in 6th grade, I had an arch nemesis named Macalister.

See, his mistake was going for sympathy. He should have said that not only does he know Larry Fitzgerald, but he has the power to force him to go to that officer’s home and play “Tequila” on the kazoo at his child’s birthday party.  THAT’s how you get out of an arrest, idiot. 

Ugh. Now we’ll have to listen to “Everybody was talking about the ratings. I mean, the nomination was one thing, very important, but people were really focused on the ratings. A Supreme Court nominee announcement never had such high ratings. It’s really unbelievable, everybody’s talking about it.”

Just great the way security arrived and completely lost control of the situation by focusing on the calm guy, who was controlling the situation in a rational manner, and then letting the drunk fucker back on his feet to raise hell all over again. They were more concerned with their role of being “the man” getting…

Administrative leave...from Subway?  

I think Australian internet is measured in spiders.

Let’s not overlook how both of them tried to ditch the other at the first chance they got. He shoved her into the cop initially and tried to run out the door; she moonwalked right past him being arrested to attempt her Spider-Man gambit. 

The best part is when she fell through the ceiling. 

I’m going to be pissed if he comes out of the cave, sees his shadow, and gives us six more weeks of LeBronWatch.

Every time I see his face...

“Tremendous man.... Beautiful... This doesn’t excuse Chappequiddick.”

2,0000

The Internet can be a vile place, so it says a lot when even darker corners of it respects Fred Rogers.

I am going to watch this in my living room by myself because I’m one of those kids from the 70s who was basically raised by Mister Rogers and I can’t imagine watching something like this around other people.