Normally I would love to make an obvious “America is tanking for the draft picks” joke here, but I would like to point out that this well behaved boy who for a time last year, once controlled all aspects of American life, is the same person who paid* $10M for the New York Observer in 2006 (great time for publishing),…

What is the Trump Administration if not a collection of second round picks and undrafted free agents?

Sometimes taking responsibility for your actions stings. I bet he won’t do THAT again. Still cheaper than a DUI.

It’s almost like they know that they’re cruel pieces of shit and just don’t want to face any consequences for the misery they inflict on the already downtrodden.

I’m not your buddy, friend.

There will be documentaries. And movies of it, with a geriatric Jared Leto as Trump. (He will win an Oscar for his portrayal.)

I just checked and all of Three 6 Mafia’s discography is on Spotify, which as we all know, costs about one facepaint kit a month.

Can’t just have an open wifi access point. He’s fortunate they were just downloading pirated music, and not something worse like child porn.

“Fuckin’ WiFi, how does it work?”

It’s ironic that Christians want the freedom to practice Christianity..and they deserve that freedom like anyone else..but they want to actively pursue measures to deny people the same rights to make choices about their own rights. And I say this as someone raised a Catholic who still deeply believes in God and Jesus.

Religious people promote stuff like this because its in their best interest to keep people poor, dumb and shackled to their idiot kids and shit jobs.

I say we just turn off Facebook until after 2020

I was walking by westlake the other day and there were a group of cops chatting, and this homeless dude walks up near them, picks up an undocked bike that had been knocked over and sits it upright. He turns to the cops, visibly irritated, and exclaims, “no problem that’s just the 240th one today!!”

Shit, for a million dollars, my husband would be mad if I didn’t cheat on him.

Can I get a job writing headlines for you guys?

The modern Internet needs more Al Bundy references.

“Ivanka was a great representative for the administration.”

I’m sure he has absolutely nothing actually planned to use against Delta. He’s just demonstratng his feality to the NRA for their approval and the future benefit of his campaign.

Citizens United, bitches! So, you wanted corporations to have free rein to deny women healthcare, on grounds that they have the right to make such political actions into “free speech”, didja? You wanted corporations to be treated as people, didn’t you? Well then! Delta has free rein to end its NRA discounts as a way…