I imagined the racial slurs scrawled on a Giant’s wall would be more like, “You’re a midget” or “Little People Fullback”.

I’d rather see queso dribbling down his chin than his usual throat stones.

Klein was forced to stuff Wildenstein inside a closet to prevent another rabid attack, sources said.

Holman Jenkins sounds like a fake name made up by the Russians.

“I wish I had that option” - Ghost of Eight Belles

This man will make him understand cause and effect!

Destination Cleveland, a publicly funded tourism agency

Of course RGIII’s wallet was left behind, who would seriously want that?

Maybe he wasn’t hacked and was just having a Kanye West moment. 

Jimmy knows how to play the game. Don’t be surprised when he’s the next US Secretary of Defense.

Contrary to what your father may have told you Ivanka, you can’t have your cake and eat it.

“Call my attorney!”

claim that their dicks—when “tip to tip”—are 17.34 inches combined.

CMU should give back that victory under the stipulation that Oklahoma State changes their name to the “Stillwater Earthquakes”.

Can I do this with my timeshare in Jacksonville, FL?

I see Trump as more of an Ask Jeeves kind of guy.

Koenig will make the 11-hour drive with his older brother and his trainer to a protest site near Bismarck, North Dakota this Friday.