YES, do not get how Winston is the presumptive no. 1 pick. Maybe the alleged rape (oh, who are we kidding, the RAPE) thing is clouding my judgment, but I can't remember a guy that all the pro scouts seem to have so high look so pedestrian in college. He just sucks. DO NOT GET.

So, I have a story about old Alterac Valley.

Drew Magary: [walks the fuck right into the side of that car because some asshole won't get out of his way]

INTERVIEWER: Now, as someone who coached in both New York and New England in the 90s, there's an infamous incident I want to ask you about-

Idiotically, I thought this really hot brunette would be impressed by a dick pic. Even worse, for unfathomable reasons, I sent her a a pic looking tiny and flaccid. She not only never replied but she went on to show it to, like, everyone. I was a laughing stock.

In fairness, Arizona State would have been #1 if the site's name was easier to spell.

Shut up. Hard "g" GIF. I don't care what the creator of the .gif says, if he wanted "jiff" he should have galled them .jif. PERIOD.

That before he dated Ali, he dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner ("No relation, I'm sure of it").

The Auburn-Opelika News has done this before...