Did you see the “I don’t know, I didn’t read it. Didn’t bring my reading glasses” clips? I don’t have them handy on my tablet, but I’m sure others will post.

The troll that’s sandwiched between us, and somehow ungrayed, has decided that laws don’t matter. MURRICA! at it’s greatest.

“Hey Lindsay, I wish you didn’t smoke weed.”

It’s impressive how much being disgustingly rich (as opposed to just regular rich, which they’d still be anyhow) is the only thing that matters to our ‘leaders’ on both sides of the aisle.

One of them needs to grow a spine and drop, “it’s unfair to let a President appoint anyone in his final year of office.”

Yeah, tried something similar a few years ago. Now the cat actively loves having his face blown on. The only semi-plausible solution would be to sleep with a spray bottle, but Catterpus would just end up loving water...

So.....want a cat? I’ve got an extra!

Cuddle me, human!

Cats sleep 16 hours, but then spend the other 8 running around like wild lunatics, yowling at the top of their lungs and jumping on totally appropriate things, like my kidneys. Those other 8 hours tend to be between 10pm and 6am.

Ours used to go downstairs until we were done. It’s not something we taught him, he literally started it on day one.

It’s the small ones that get you. Former gbgf’s 100 lb monster slept curled in a tiny ball below her. Prior to that, her pug managed to take up an entire queen sized bed.

Mine feels the need to walk over all my weak spots ALL DAMN NIGHT. Then he eventually wraps himself around my head because he apparently decided I like that and get no say in the matter.

I’ll be running on the ticket with Giant Pissed Off Sentient Meteor, 2018. First time in 100 years that voting down ticket is morally correct!

Nothing bright is on the horizon, but I do love some Rodney

Welp, gf and I are separated after six and a half years. Blind sided the hell out of me. Clearly it’d been on her mind for a while.

Gbgf and I separated on Sunday, and I started drinking again after 8 months. Missed whiskey apparently, so that’s a good thing?

Even the bust in the background is tired of all their shit.

Is it #TeamVacantProperty just another way of saying #TeamSwift?

Goddamn kids and their Dubstep Dressage!

Would that even do anything? It’d prob have to be underage male Democrats for his base to even bat an eyelash..