I’ll definitely look into it more, thanks for the info! I’ve told the therapists that I was going to be doing it, but here’s a fun wrench to throw into the machine: I minored in psychology, so asshole subconscious brain that drives the disorders is unfortunately acutely too aware of the general process. That’s why I…

From what I know about DBT....erm....well....in the 28 minutes since I first heard of it, nothing. Lol. What’s DBT? Something behavior therapy I’m guessing?

“oooooh we should call it Pumpkin Spice!”

“I’m 0.7% black on my plantation owning great grandpa’s side. That means I can use the n word now right!?”

Do the Vasa museum! It’s still one of my favorite things in Europe. SO damn cool!

Been looking into giving hypnotherapy a try. I have the super awesome personality traits of being a sociopath and a people pleaser. When trying regular therapy before, I basically steered the questions to suit me, which of course is away from addressing the issues, and gave answers they wanted to hear.

I know where that house is! We stayed in the same development this past July! It was fun, but I’m still pissed we couldn’t find ANYWHERE to go canoeing!

So what you’re saying is...my 17 yea..I mean 20 year old friend from Estonia that can do this pretzel thing is basically Einstein-grade shit.

As often as the internet fails me, it’s soul-refreshing to see us all on the same page here, even if it’s just this once.

I’m 98.37% sure his handlers are legitimately terrified of his insanity and are setting this up. As they should have been. In 2016.

I mean....you can...but holy shit, kudos to the undercover intern that managed to get that into Dotard’s speech while knowing who he’d be addressing.

The first rule of scotch club is you don’t talk about scotch club. The second rule of scotch club is you don’t talk about scotch club; yeah, we’re all alcoholics, let’s not address the elephant in the room. The third rule of scotch club is that on your first night, you have to drink. And also on every night even when…

“See? I told you herpes wouldn’t stop you from finding love! And what’s the deal with that airline food!?”

Looked at this pic, looked at my cat, and now you have an obligation to cover my medical bills labeled as ‘severe mauling.’

“We were totes gonna raise the age for firearm purchases, but then that old senile lady driving to Old Country Buffet had a low speed collision with a tree, which means we must divert our attention towards the real threat: pornography. Also my browser history was always empty.”

Voldemort’s somehow uglier real life counterpart went on to clarify, “..but please dont think this means we’ll prosecute if you shoot an unarmed, uppity colored kid. All ground is white and you should always stand it. In fact, I think I see a darkie that may have just jaywalked. Here, hold my smaller gun for a second,…

Next up on HGTV: Money Laundering Makeovers! You’ve never seen bathroom remodels and their resulting criminal indictments done like this before!

This video proves it: pandas are, in fact, half bear and half cat.

Why is it I never see a job posting on Monster titled “Baby Panda Player-Wither”? I NEED THAT JOB!

Ermagherd. THOSE ADORABLE PANDA SQUEAKS!