Whenever some old person says, “my grandparents came here legally”

A billionaire certainly could. But we’re talking about Dotard here.

Idk about you, but I’m highly concerned with the number of limbs I see children with these days. How are they supposed to build any moral fiber? Hell, back in my day, I had already lost three left arms by the time I was 7!

Nothing pisses off racists more than being called racist.

I turned my lovers into Lampshades!

I wouldn’t be as salty about it if it wasn’t just flat out stupid paranoia.

Pictured: Stephen Miller

The last year or two of smoking (after probably a decade or so) I started getting paranoia real bad. I’ll test it out every now and then, but it seems like the fear is a feature, not a bug, for me these days. It’s a bummer.

It’s well known that the modern iteration of the automobile was invented by Karl Benz and Darwinism.

One of my greatest pleasures in life used to be coming home after working third shift, smoking a joint and binge watching the hell out of Cash Cab until I fell asleep.

A single tear rolls down my cheek as I reminisce on Cash Cab, the true car schenanigan show of show.

Subtle. I like it.

“I know what I am going to rule, but let’s see you dance now”

Heart attack, or ILLUMINATI HILLARY BENGHAZI CHEMTRAILS ASSASSINATION!!?!

it took Moore being outed as a sexual predator on underage girls to BARELY win here.

When life gives you a fourth wheel, insist on constructing a battering ram and destroying the everything!

“I don’t always always get lost in a kayak for 100 hours, but when I do, I make sure to bring along my child and an entire crew to bask in the peril of looming death by large boat.”

He wears them so when people compliment his shirt, he can call them fags and explain why the band is stupid.

Pictured: White Jesus