You know what tastes good? Peanuts with shellfish.

I mean, I feel sorry for all the diehard fans who feel let down by Tim Cook’s leadership. But, in all honesty, this doesn’t affect me and the crowd who walks around with unplugged headphones talking loudly to ourselves

I’m only agreeing with you because I believe in forced sterilization for every person, ever.

Counterpoint:

Future Trump-Era Republican

Babies, sure. But what about the proverbial fucking babies?

“Hey, that’s a good-ass line. I may borrow it for the next wife.”

Le Nuh-Uh

Yo dawg, real talk: she still auditioned to be chosen as his wife before she became a super SP bummer.

Katheryn Janeway was the BEST!

Dad, how did Nana die?

Forgiven

Dog.

We know what horror followed.

Great. Now my kid is having a seizure.

Meh. 3/10. These modern bees have nothing on the classic hilarity of yesteryears’ bees featuring John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd

That’s all well and good for regular vampires but what about for me? Bleh!