The year 1989 was the end of the all-you-can-insufflate Wallstreet cocaine parties; a. k.a. The Reaganomics Years. They HAD to do something. Also, T. Swift was born on that year, so yeah, shit has just been so weird since then.

Yeah, well, you see this rock?

It’s not everyday that your dream comes true.

You can put in a Fi SIM, but (most likely) it will only connect to T-Mobile’s network, and not switch to Sprint or Wi-Fi when it needs to, since it doesn’t have the Google software.

Oooh, tssssssst! 🔥

Merit is just approbation of success. Nothing is more fair than death, the Great Equalizer.

Google and Facebook are laying a big cable right into your ear.

He probably would have donated more, but his wife spent all their cash on Tumblr?

I wonder how they moved so swiftly with them watermelons in their pants.

Ever wonder what happened to Rick’s wife?

Yeh. I mean, lending his face to again to an already dead franchise (Bourne), and now this. It’s like, “Matt Damon, you won’t believe what he’ll do next!” I still like him as an actor, even if his Hunting days are a long time ago.

I think we’ll crack the life longevity issue before we warp space; or, whatever, I just can’t wait for unlimited shrimp....for life!

Does Matt not have anything better to do? Like, Power Rangers, or something?

I loved the original Power Rangers! Going with the original formula would just be plain lazy. But this, this is not even lazy, it’s not even trying, it’s just borrowing the name.

You’re making me furiously hungry. Ha!

“Promise me that you’ll try this power cleanse. It’s just so good to get rid of the toxins from your system.”

How do they know?

On the plus side, Prox b probably has some bomb sea food.

Larry the Cable Guy: The New King of ‘Pop’