“Superman and Zod “levelled the city”? This DID NOT OCCUR.

Nice bit, but -10 points for failing to reference Jim Byrnes’ tortured blues excursions during Highlander: the Series. Nothing says “it sucks to have the woman you love murdered by an anonymous immortal” than pentatonic riffs and loads of reverb.

If you want to stick with a doughy white guy, you could do Jeffrey Jones, but he is.....problematic

How do you stop kids having sex?

Lighten up, Francis.

Sean — and I say this with an incredible amount of respect for you as a writer (one of my favorites on the internet), a journalist, and a person — this is legitimately clickbait bullshit. The mountain of qualifiers heaped in the second half of this article practically unwrites the first and proves that point. Except…

You don’t consider this a failure?!