How long does this take to freeze? Because I'm hot, cranky, and staring at a bottle of cava.

Bachelorette party. Stripper Crabs. In the Eye.

And, idiot that I am, I never realized that I would do my job so much better if I just went commando.

What I don't get is these quotes from people who say that seeing women with hair on their bodies makes them want to throw up. I mean, I get personal aesthetic preference. But, really? It reminds me of adult males who presumably have had (or want to have) sex with women but get grossed out walking through the tampon…

I absolutely agree that racism played a huge role in the botched investigation but I don't think you can separate the reasons that easily. I do not doubt for one second that the reason the police were so willing to believe Zimmerman's account (that he was frightened and was just "standing his ground") was due to…

The assumption that George Zimmerman was covered by the Stand Your Ground law had a lot to do with why the police did such a shitty job investigating in the first place. The prosecution's case was weaker than you would ideally want it in large part because of the shitty job the police did.

Well, then. I suppose I should wait until I'm not at work to listen to this.

Clearly, there's a reason why I'm in my late 30s and still single. I never knew I needed a gimmick!

Oh, wow — that took me a minute.

In KBMT's defense, all Michael Browns do look alike.

Or, even scarier, space sharks!

I'm sure there was a "bleeding vaginas!" somewhere in that thought process.

I'm ok with that!

It's all fun and games until the doll gets tossed onto a grill.

Oh, LaComtesse. I like the cut of your gib.

Well, he's clearly going to murder someone soon.

...can't detach 'em and hang 'em in your closet when your back starts hurting or when you just want to sleep on your goddamn stomach for a change.

I can't stop visualizing what that would look like in motion.

ball scientists

Big Bird has the eyes of a guy you meet at a party who, after initially coming off as nice and smart and interesting, slowly reveals himself to be a complete and utter misogynistic asshole conservative over the course of a conversation from which you cannot escape.