If you can't Dodge it, Ram it.

I worked for a restaurant chain and the clientele was very diverse. We had great tippers and then the not so great rude bottom feeders that wanted everything for free. I'm all about getting the customer what they needed but when you start off the dinner with "water and lots and lots of lemons BC wanna make our own…

Yeah, I had a difficult table once and they told the owner they were never coming back again, to which he responded, "Good. Tell your friends."

I want to get in on this even though I am late. I worked at a coffee shop for a few years. We had two handicapped spots right out front. A lot of people would park there "in a rush" and come in. I would ask them what they wanted really quick and ask them to move their cars while we made the coffee. If we were slow I…

My coworker had a dude dine-and-dash who had checked in on Facebook.

Nothing in your story suggests that your server was being incompetent or ignoring you. Just that she was in the weeds because her section got overloaded. (Incidentally, that would be the hostesses fault.) Why you felt the need to be petty and vindictive for something that was completely out of her control, is beyond…

My favorite dumb customer question from my experience as a server:

In college I was a waitress at a Mexican restaurant. I had customer get furious at me for the little brown spots on his hand-made tortillas. I explained that they were made by the heat being applied to the tortilla dough. He insisted it was dirt or something. His friend was so embarrassed I got a 30% tip.

Oh wow.

Hee hee! As a classicist I love that typo. Totally prefer Greek over Roman history.

I have SO many questions.

Considering the people that I have worked with in the food service industry, you could not get me intoxicated enough to do that. JESUS.

Yeah, definitely not funny.

I wrote a screed about That One Time I Fucked With An Assholes Food.

I got that they're ok with immigrants as long as they like her (I'm assuming this is a her). Snobbism, classism, assism. I think we can assign a lot of ism's here.

OH MY GOD. My jaw literally dropped. I don't even understand people. How did EVERYONE get on board with that?? How many drugs?

Sorry! I'll just put my pants back on now...

I worked at a diner that used to be really popular and well known. It was bought by some total douche canoe and he was cutting corners where ever he could, like using things well past expiration dates etc. So this lady comes in and I go to seat her at a table and she starts frothing at the mouth that she wants to sit…

Yup. I used to work at a coffee shop, and this woman repeatedly gave me shit about the price of our muffins, and one day she was like, "There are children STARVING in the Third World, you know". I said, "Yes, I know, I'm FROM the Third World", and she never came back.

I worked at Tim Horton's coffee shop when I was a teen. I worked the drive thru microphone and window because everyone else hated doing it and I was the youngest. Of course, as you all know, people can get very angry about their coffee or food orders. Very angry. It was pretty standard to be sworn at, at least once…