Shero.

“Look *points to him* you want to be here, I *points to herself* am getting paid to be here. If Imma be here, I will catch up on my book. I would advise you to keep your hands to yourself before I...whoooo” *goes back to book*

I aspire to this woman’s greatness. And seriously, the stones on that guy who tapped her shoulder... She was reading a fucking book, not watching a slew of YouTube videos on her phone without earbuds. It in no way impacted you, pretentious white dude.

So much hidden humor!! Well, obviously, there’s the lady in question, who DGAF. But then there’s “Dude Throwing Shade at White Guy Reaching Around Him”:

The hero we need.

JK Rowling is good at Twitter.

Greatness. Pure greatness. She inspires me and countless other little black girls to not be ashamed of our bodies, our strength, our hair, just fucking everything. The Williams sisters are by far my favorite athletes and are some of the best in their sport. People will talk shit, some deserved, but she is the best.…

Oh my god! I may be allergic to red! I am one of those people I hate!

Exactly. It’s so rare to see these nice, human moments in court. She maintained her professionalism which is necessary and got a chance to express her feelings. He was so overwhelmed the moment he made the connection and clearly this was an emotional moment for them both. If only more interactions between judges and…

You sound fun.

OH WOW SO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BETTER THAN ME??? COOL! You’re wrong. I wrote my post. My post says I was crying. You don’t get to decide that for me. And yes, it does. Raining on my face=crying. You are a rude person. I’m dismissing this from now on as I find it pathetic that a nice moment in court, a place where VERY…

What are you on about even? Raining on face is literally a term that means crying. My post says I cried. What an odd takeaway from my post. ETA: Seems you might be confused. When people go, “Oh it’s dusty in here!” or something that is distancing from crying. Raining on my face means I am crying. As in, lots of tears.…

Well, it unexpectedly rained on my face. They clearly have so much friend love for each other and really meant something to one another. This is as mushy as a judge can get while doing her job and I’m glad she told him that what she remembers most is how nice he is. Seems like it really touched him and could be a…

Here is the transcript from the Bears after signing him. It was a joke then, but now it is downright pathetic.

Build a time machine so we can go back and not invade Iraq in 2003.

This is dating myself but... when I was 10 years old my mother moved us from Philly to Westwood Ca. (a whole ‘nother story but it was actually a case of custodial interference.) Our neighbor in in the Melrose place looking complex was Barbara Barry. She played Gavin Mcleod’s wife on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. She…

That’s So Kanye™

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/