"Fame is actually black liquid that purportedly changes color when applied to the body."

"if my comments meant nothing to you," "I genuinely found something in your appreciation of Sarah Silverman that made me like you"

COCONUT SHREDS. They are of the devil.

You know what, I'm going to end this now. My snark knows no bounds, so if you really want to keep going, come at me, bro. But it seems like you're new here, or maybe new to the internet, so I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice in response to your unsolicited opinion. Take it or leave it.

I am so devastated. A petulant stranger on the internet doesn't like me OR a book I like?? How ever will I ever go on? If only your opinion weren't the only one that mattered...

YESSS!!!!!

I'm blushing! Nothing I've ever said was as awesome as your reply to goldfarb. I am ugly snort-laughing.

Yes, of course...ahem...for Sheldon...

OH THANK GOD. It was so difficult, going through the motions day to day, trying to hide the fact that deep down I was dead on the inside because some petulant stranger on the internet didn't like me.

I am pretty shamelessly in love with Sarah Silverman.

How am I supposed to concentrate at work after all that JT?

BewareTheHounds isn't "recommending against sunscreen." She's recommending that people research different kinds of sunscreen in order to choose sunscreens that have less harmful chemicals in them. Reading comprehension.

Haha I'm sorry morons are jumping on you for this. I don't get why it's so unbelievable for people that there could be harmful chemicals in sunscreen. There are harmful chemicals in most cosmetics. Why not educate yourself on which ones have less?

Wow, she's seeming really fucking awesome lately.

Just read through this. I'm so glad you said this because I've thought about it for a long time. You just became my first heart in the new system!

I don't think Jezebel does this, but I do think the commenters here do. I have thought this for years now. Any time there is a boob article or someone just talking about the plight of small breasts, there is a flood of commenters bemoaning their large breasts and totally derailing the small-breasted person's problems.…

You're in 8th grade and you're on Jezebel? Jesus, you're going to be an awesome adult. Unsolicited advice: if the hair on your thighs is light enough, don't ever shave it. I never did, so mine is still light and soft and barely visible. I think if I did shave it back when I first started shaving it would probably be a…

Jesus, you couldn't pay me to run on a treadmill bare-breasted. And mine aren't even that big.

Agreed. He is an asshole, but he's right on the money with that quote. He really is a musical genius, and I think people are put off by the fact that he knows it and doesn't beat around the bush with disingenuous plays at humbleness about his talent.

Also, Katie Holmes looks a lot like Jackie Onassis in that picture.