Watching Donald Trump get Hulk-punched out of the picture is satisfying on a level that’s probably worrisome.

What the FUCK. I am so sorry for his family. I’m so sorry for all these families.

Stacey Dash is on a perma-drip of NyQuil. She could not be more asleep if she tried.

I have all sorts of feelings about this. I feel bad for her because no woman should have to put up with this shit. Plus I don’t know what she will do after this. Since she got shitcanned from Fox, will the conservative money-making machine still work for her? I’m curious what she’ll do next.

Is it really a hack if any semi-clever fourteen year old could have done it?

I totally agree. I’ve never really thought of new money/old money as a distinction in terms of the actual money, but like I said, a state of mind. I’d say there’s new money folks with an old money mind and vice versa. To me, the defining hallmark of old money is that you don’t flaunt it like an asshole and you use it…

I can get my little one bedroom done in less than an hour. Two if I go all out and deep clean that sucker.

The A/C bill is probably just as bad, if not worse, than the heating bill.

These houses look monstrous, tacky and out of place next to all the other homes which are mansions.

Whenever I used to admire big houses like that, my mom would remind me “yeah, but keeping it clean is a bitch.”

Agreed entirely. Also here is Cinemark’s website in case anyone wants to know which theaters in their area are Cinemark-owned.

No one understands that I like my cookies slightly underdone. I like them soft enough that the center caves in a little bit with just the barest hint of pressure. Crispy chocolate chip cookies are just an affront to baking.

Seriously though, why does baking remove the deliciousness?

You took the words right out of my mouth. “We can’t design for her, she has hips and a butt and boobs! We’re not trained for that!” I swear, fashion designers these days are trying to convince us that shapeless sacks and strapless dresses are en vogue because they aren’t talented or skilled enough to sew or design…

I usually go with “Oh, [item name]! How thoughtful of you, I really appreciate it.”

I really like United Way as they do a lot to help those in need with things like job skills that are actually needed to improve their lives long-term. I’m also a big believer in giving to your local library system. Most of my local libraries have after-school programs to help with childcare.

States I don’t fuck with: Alaska, Florida, the more rural parts of Texas. Mother Nature isn’t watching out for you, kiddos. She has a busy schedule and does not give a fuck.

Set that shit to a dope beat and I’ll listen to it all day long.

Sam Bee said she was never offered the job. But I love what she’s doing over on TBS and her show and John Oliver’s show feel like the real Daily Show heirs. Trevor Noah’s version feels more Craig Kilborne-y.

Mix with generous serving of alcohol of choice.