The man offers good party advice.

Are we taking bets on how much those people were paid/threatened?

Fun fact: I went to one of the best schools in my area and we never actually had a civics class. Had to make way for more STEM classes and standardized testing. No room in our schedule to learn how our fucking country works.

Also nationwide access to absentee voting. I had to work on the day my state held out caucuses but I was able to send in an absentee vote. Washington has also moved primarily to absentee voting. Now if we could just make those ballots automatically deliverable and not require postage.

No, not wasteful and stupid enough.

1) I am honestly legit frightened, you guys. It’s not like America just suddenly became racist out of nowhere, but I’m honestly really scared that we’re going back to murderous mobs.

NO YOU OWE ME AN APPLE JUICE.

I’m ready for this whole movie. And I hope there will be a sequel, too.

This is why I don’t wear heels, because this would be me on so many levels.

I keep forgetting what age I am. The other day I said something to a friend about being 27 and she just looked at me and said “you’re 26.”

I heartily believe she’s lying about her age. I’m 26, I have plenty of friends who are 26, and she is not younger than we are. No way, no how. I don’t even care about facts, I just refuse to believe it.

I looked him up, once years ago before Nashville, because I thought he might be British and trying to hide the accent, but no, he’s from Pennsylvania or something. Dude just never really focused on elocution.

I know it gets said with regularity any time Woody Allen is even mentioned around here, but I really don’t get why people think his films are so genius. It’s nearly always a story of a young, hot woman falling in love with an older neurotic guy. It’s beyond unrealistic. I always thought Twilight was creepy because…

It’s never to soon, in my book! I could watch them forever!

I’m so freaking excited for this movie, you guys. I loved T’Challa in Civil War and I want to see this movie basically immediately.

I have a secret theory that dudes who start ‘toxing early get that weird waxy-smooth look that makes them look of indeterminate age. Also that super-gelled hairstyle reads older. So it all comes together to make Zefron look like he could be anywhere from mid twenties to his forties. Also that sweater does not help.

This was exactly my first thought. Not competent to stand trial, not competent to own a gun.

May I suggest this genuine fox fur Fendi Monster bag? But actually for real, because I am both cheap and basic, I could buy a thousand variations on the same tote bag. The Oversize Blaire holds a surprising amount of my crap and the H&M Shopper is functional and non-bank breaking.

Apparently God was pranking the Cruzes.

“...was chosen...”