Moriarty, ilu and you are perfect. Tom Brady is basically the worst.

Chinese food is my favorite Christmas tradition. Also watching Elena Kagan and Chuck Schumer introduce Graham Cracker to our fine traditions.

I braved the Urban Dictionary of it all:

What does ‘SJW’ mean? I’d look it up but I’m kind of afraid to Google it.

Disagree entirely. Cheating necessarily removes my agency. If a person that I’m dating says that they’re not interested in being monogamous then I have the choice to decide whether or not that’s a position in comfortable with emotionally and from a health standpoint. If my partner good out and gets some strange and…

Oh is THAT what she does?!

I once dated a guy named Chad. But I don’t make great life choices, so there’s that.

Bosom Buddies-style. That’s how y’all get away with it, isn’t it?

I’m not trying to be mean, buuuuut...I have a theory that Andrea Tantaros is well aware of how expendable she is and is trying to generate the kind of interest that comes with saying that Trump-esque id-of-the-Republican-party shit. She’s not the queen bee (Megyn Kelly), she’s not the pretty one (Elisabeth…

We are all that baby.

I was raised on sparkling water and bought one that makes both the liter bottles and the half liter bottles. I used to have the one that only made liter bottles. I didn’t use that much. Once I got this newer one I pretty much stopped buying Perrier. My recycling thanks me and I am not forced to make trips to Costco…

When I was six my parents started me with swimming lessons. My teacher was male and for reasons even I didn’t understand, I was not comfortable with that. I said that I did not want him to hold me and I wanted a girl to teach me to swim. My mom was confused and my sister’s response was basically “but he’s hot!” I held…

I hear stuff like this and my immediate response is

OK, I get that Melania lies back and thinks of designer clothes or whatever and that’s how she gets through this anthropomorphic YouTube comments section mounting her, but I don’t get his mistresses. (And I’m pretty sure he has a least one.) Melania gets the Wife Budget, what do they get? Surely there must be equally…

I’m in a similar boat, but I’ve comforted myself by simply not speaking to 99% of them ever again. Not even on Facebook. Although I fully admit to not being a good human and taking probably a little too much joy in the fact that a guy who made me feel like crap about myself couldn’t make it through his Ivy League…

Same, Mugatu. Same.

Never not appropriate:

See, this is why we can’t have men in government. They deal so much on emotion and they’re ruled by their hormones. I don’t want this country to go to war every time some dude gets a boner, you know what I’m saying?

Amazing how being the smart Bush means you can still be a fucking idiot. Must be a much lower bar than I originally thought.