Combined, the past three days have been an Alan Jackson song.

Perhaps it’s just me but I don’t find most of these stories are all that WTFuckery. I mean, not to the usual BCO standard.

Find the comment with the most stars and copy it word for word, adding a kitten or 4.

Sam, I hope you got a good look, ‘cause it’s the last time!

Yeah, that was super judgmental and revealed more about John than anyone else. I hope he doesn’t have to live ‘til middle age for his sake.

mozzarella in pizza hut? I doubt it

This was an amazing BCO. It had everything I could ever hope for.

I got no sympathy for the last story. It’s not even WTF worthy. Walk your lazy ass to the restaurant, three blocks is not a fucking Arctic expedition.

Better idea: Get him to tell you stories and then submit them as your own. Keep all the internet glory to yourself!

DAMN DARRELL YOU NAMIN’ NAMES! NAME ON NAMERFUCKER.

(Editor’s Note: Bob must not have been doing the job for very long if he was mortified by that question, because servers and cooks say WAYYYYYYYY more fucked-up shit to each other pretty much every day)

There is a special place in hell for people who order delivery during snowstorms. And in that hell, crab rangoon will always be Three. Blocks. Away.

I think my casual disregard for expiration dates and my unwavering belief that as long as it doesn’t smell bad it’s fine has made my immune system a force to be reckoned with.

“Ha, ha, ha... I can’t believe the woman I fully intended to betray my wife with was my wife all along!”

At least she moved from “chink” straight on to “Asian” without the usual middle ground of “Oriental.” (sarcasm)

My grandpa (who would remind me that he fought in Korea so he knows) used to say “chink” all the time, and after about a decade of his kids and grandkids correcting him, he moved on to calling everything…

Well, if a white person says a person of colour’s experience isn’t racist, case closed.

Oh I wish I had seen this a few weeks ago. I went to Nordstrom to get some ideas for my beach wedding. After telling the woman that I rarely wear a lot of make-up and needed something casual, I came out looking like I was going to Bar Mitzvah in Short Hills. Apparently I have bad skin that needs to be covered up. They…

I definitely reserve my meanness for the people who truly deserve it. I worked in customer service long enough to have a feel for somebody having a rough day and somebody who is just being an asshole. At the time of this incident I had spiky dyed hair, gauged ears and a few tattoos. I’m sure this salesperson thought I…

My mom almost quoted those lines at White House Black Market the other day.

You make a very valid point. But please, as a former server, do us a favor. Have a little patience. Most servers do not know every ingredient of every dish on the menu down to the DNA level. If the server says “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask” don’t roll your eyes and make snide remarks about how bad a server they are…