OOO how nefarious, and you have to buy your fleshtone which of course will be back-ordered.

I wouldn't mind seeing a penis.

WHOA.

I'll have that wench know that I received my proposal of marriage in sweatpants. And not just any sweatpants, but disgusting old grody ones with the crotch worn out that I reserved only for housecleaning. So There.

Sweatpants are my "two to twenty" pants. They fit me when I am a size two, and they fit me if I gorge myself and become a size twenty. They are comfortable to bum around in, they have kept me comfy in my post-surgery days, and I love them. My wife looks cute in hers, too. Fuck off, Eva Mendes.

Right? I do think cute loungewear is good for all involved. I feel gross when I wear an old printed tshirt and mismatched dirty sweats. But my super awesome PJ Salvage pajama pants with gnomes on them, and a camisole tank top? I look cute, or about as cute as my 42 year old ass is gonna look. And probably cuter…

It would look like me in a sheer bra and panties set, size ten, in bed, criss cross apple sauce, leaning over a book or my computer with my belly rolls in full glory and my tits folding over my belly and my crazy bush peeking out the corner and my socks not matching. Glorious, sexy, voluptuous, real book worm lingerie…

Sweatpants? For amateurs! I wear no pants once I get home from work!

Burn the witch!

I've let myself go.

Uh. Huh.

...mostly because I am too lazy to shave, but yeah, that's how I feel, too. I have this-here 70's key party situation for a reason, might as well leave it be.

I think you'll find a lot of deviant garbage monsters in these comments.

Are we not supposed to have nipples now? Seriously? UGGGGHHHHHHH.

I never got why people think this is helpful. Like: Oh, whoops! I have titties, how embarrassing! Generally I don't carry a cardigan around to prevent this, so I always think that there's nothing I can really do about it anyways.

I get super frustrated when nipples are removed from garments because then I start to question if the bra is lined or not. What does the underwear look like? Is this a sheer overlay on top of something else? If you're that nervous, put florescent green pasties on the model's breasts, then I can see what's going on…

hyper-realistic My Size Barbies, welcome to the future

AND WITH SWIMSUIT SEASON COMING UP.

Eew. Seriously. So gross.