He loses at life for all eternity for not making his DJ name Hansolo.

I feel like Jaden Smith gets a pass for legit being a child. Ansel Elgort is only a child in his head.

Oh, I like you. I'm not convinced he wasn't a procurer either. Witness the sociopathic response to being found out: SEVERE injustice to me! (Seriously, who on earth thinks like this? Sociopaths, that's who). It's times like this I wish I was Shiva. I'd kill him so slowly. And spectacularly.

This is like when I found out Dexter and the actress who played his sister were married.

Watching someone else play video games is the actual 9th circle of hell.

"If you like someone and the sex is really good and you enjoy spending time together, why wouldn't you make that person your girlfriend? Why go around dating random girls and having terrible sex when you can be with someone you really like?"

none of these words even make sense as words to me any more. Probs some EDM song you wouldn't know banana Taipei megawatt glowstick cough syrup.

But really, you should be glad you don't know that song, because I bet it's horrible.

Probs some EDM song you wouldn't know Probs some EDM song you wouldn't know Probs some EDM song you wouldn't know

(See also: "all abortion is immoral except for MY abortion")

"But if you can find a girl who you can go to an EDM concert with, have a conversation with, who will sit on the couch and watch you play GTA for three hours—and then you go to bed and have amazing sex? That should be your girlfriend."

Let's not forget about his wife. She is as responsible for this situation as he is.

Guaranteed this wankjob is against abortions because he believes in 'protecting the sanctity of life'. Does he fuck! Disgusting way to treat human beings.

I call it the Jesus Mulligan. "Sure I've fucked up, but I prayed to Jesus, and he made everything okay again."

And this is why you, never, ever, NEVER trust a person who wears their religion on their sleeve. Doesn't matter the religion, what matters is that they believe they have a direct line to God and at the end of the day they can get down on their knees and ask for forgiveness, BE GRANTED that forgiveness and go out the…

I really think these Christian type families who adopt after having a bunch of bio kids do it to look like "good Christians" and freak out when their kid has a host of issues and aren't acting "grateful" for being adopted. Fuck these people for traumatizing these kids even more than they were before they were…

They just want to pray away the problem, and they probably believe a) it was OK as long as the kids were going to "good Christians" (DHS might place them with heathens), b) Jesus would have provided another option if this wasn't the right thing to do. So they climb up on the cross as martyrs to cruel atheists who…

Hope you like public transit.

Teabagger who, while complaining about social spending, runs a "school" that receives federal and state aid to the tune of $900,000/yr.

We're gonna need a bigger cross.