Ugh, I can’t imagine what kind of horror show of a man my parents would choose for me. My father would probably insist on picking a “good Christian” for me, the atheist. My mother’s idea of attractive certainly doesn’t align with mine at all. Yuck, I can’t imagine having to sleep with someone I wasn’t attracted to.…
GingerSnapAttack
gingersnapattack
Participating in a patriarchal system for meager benefit is not matriarchy, it’s complicity.
That was one of my first thoughts, too. Had my (middle-to-upper class white Middle-European) parents selected my mate, I would be married to someone with a good education, a profession of a certain status, and with an interest in the arts. He would also, in all likelihood, be extremely conservative, a closeted…
in India, two of my female cousins married “nice guys” in arranged marriages. Their parents chose the partners. Both of these guys turned out to be awful, abusive, and violent and both cousins had to escape and get divorces. Now both are divorced women living in India and my heart breaks for them because they’re both…
Prachi, the statistic about divorces is interesting, but i do think divorce is so heavily stigmatized in India especially for women that it is not seen as a viable choice at all. I think patriarchal pressure exists in multiple forms in Indian culture before and after marriage and walking out on an abusive or an…
When my mother talks about it, it’s always the man choosing the woman. She says, “He liked her,” and “He chose her.” It makes me rage. So, one day, when I’m feeling vicious, I might ask her how it feels no man chose her daughter.
There is nothing inherently wrong with any kind of marriage. The whole “Indian society makes a large emphasis of the needs of the greater family unit at the expense of the individual” thing makes a ton of sense. If both parties were asked to sacrifice the same amount, yeah I can see how this can work.
I do not think these divorce stats are quite the strong argument you make them out to be.
I think there is nothing inherently wrong with arranged marriage. Having your family find a suitable person for you via a selection process is certainly a better system of finding a mate than what most people I know did, which is getting drunk with people you go to school with or sometimes work with.
As an Indian who has recently (but barely) moved into what I’d call a middle-class standard of life, the stigma of “love marriages” can be surprisingly matriarchal in nature. Almost every family I know has a kindly old grandmother/aunt telling the anecdotal story of ‘that woman’ who eloped and is now regretting it or…
My parents were very conservative first generation Italian-Americans. Neither finished high school. Both expected me to stay one until Married. Since I started trying to run away from home at age 7, that wasn’t going to happen! I got to college because they didn’t have to pay much (back in the days of nearly free…
I’m finding this attitude to be too nihilistic to entertain. A weakened Clinton would still have been better than a Trump presidency. First off, impeachment is not Thebes’s worst thing that can happen to the country, especially when it’s highly unlikely that a Republican Congress could have removed her from office.…
The problem is that American democracy only works as a partnership between the left and the right, one where both sides say, “We disagree on a lot, but we’re in agreement on the biggest, most important things.”
We have GOT to stop allowing ourselves - the public, the media, the Dems, basically anyone that’s not a batty-ass conservative Republican - to be held hostage by the wingnuts by playing their game. Every bad thing can be traced back to trying to placate them as some kind of sane/normal political movement.
I lean towards no, now, but remember we have the benefit of hindsight. Comey thought Clinton was going to win, so at worst he’d haveto explain all these decisions to her and repair the relationship.
I don’t know. What *is* the total for Trump’s golf trips and Melania’s New York Palace guards up to?
A few years ago, someone figured out that every New Yorker cartoon worked with the line “Christ, what an asshole” as the caption. A couple of years later, the line “Late stage capitalism in decline” worked just as well.
He was so busy trying to be non-partisan, and seen as non-partisan, that he made a deeply problematic set of decisions all about covering his own ass.
