Not enough boobs. 7/10

Pick your former and current sexual partners out of the line up please.

Meanwhile behind Kris’s back:

You mean the “Team America” puppet and the grimy anger-management case?

Before you ever start drinking, make sure you know exactly how many you’re going to have

um are we gonna talk about how fucking COOL she looks without her robe and fancy collar on?

schlubs. schlubs aint gonna get no love from me...hanging out the side of ya best mans ride tryin to holla at me.

Any USC fan ever that won’t shut the fuck up about how good that team was.

But who didn’t let Leinart go?

Wow, Matt Leinart really let himself go.

Considering how little I imagine kourtney now eats, I imagine there is practically no stool in her bathroom at any time.

Khloe has some organic flour and some PAM on her meticulously ordered shelves, so we know she loves baking? I must be a fucking pastry chef.

GIMME PIZZA YOU OLD TROLL

You know they have mirrors on the ceilings of their bedrooms, and they will only do it reverse cowgirl, so they can watch themselves.

10 out of 10 would get vertigo there!

You know who has white pillows on outdoor furniture? That’s right, assholes have white pillows on outdoor furniture.

Cool. Meanwhile I’m legitimately scared to stay at my apartment tonight because I heard a bunch of gunshots outside my window last night.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: If I can’t re-enact scenes from Miley Cyrus videos in the bathroom, don’t even bother showing it to me. Wasting my time.