Gee, I can’t imagine why not giving any real consequences to a kid who’s never had any real consequences wouldn’t work.

My wife has explicitly forbidden me from watching the debates. She grew tired ow me shouting “OH, FUUUUCCCK YOOOOOUUU!” and flipping the bird at every response.

WOW for someone who loved A Cinderella Story far too much as a kid, I did not recognize CMM. At all.

When Andy Cohen finds people obnoxious... I’m going to have to find this episode and watch it, despite my ban on WWHL.

Remember when Jax was the worst human this show offered?

Yea, that’s about as accurate a picture of him as I’ve ever seen.

Come on, we are never sweeping those championships. The closest Philly got was 1980 (1-3).

If we brought George Washington to the present day, he would never stop watching porn.

Does it have an Authentic Italian Connection like Victoria or Rao’s? No. Did Paul Newman even ever play an Italian character? No idea. But all it needs is a bay leaf, is not hard to find and occassionally on sale.

That is an efficient and reasonable way to deal with an extremely minor annoyance. I don’t think you understand the point of this column.

Trump walked past me at CPAC this year. The hallway was very crowded and his body guards had him stop right next to me. We made eye contact. I don’t know how or why my reflex was this, but as soon as our eyes met, I aggressively pointed at him and screamed “YOU KILLED THE USFL!!”
He looked completely bewildered and was…

unless you’re single and the “Hey” comes from someone you want to bang. in that case, it’s the single greatest text message there is.

Hey

Why are these people so terrible at approximating genuine human emotions?

Is this some sort of weird performance art piece that I don’t fully understand? Come to think of it, is Carly Fiorina some sort of weird performance art piece that I don’t fully understand?

Next up: Carly Fiorina puts on an invisible fence dog collar, crawls around the perimeters of your property to emphasize her pain tolerance.

Why are we suppose to dislike Blake Lively? Because of her “southern belle” comment?

So I guess that also makes her Roald Dahl’s granddaughter?

it me

Maybe her “fresh start” involves time travel???