TEAM HAM

Oh Tom <3

Jesus, this is my worst nightmare. I just turned 33 and have a 2 and 3 year old. The thought of having and raising a baby (a SURPRISE BABY at that) at 45 makes me want to weep for weeks. People do it, and that’s great if it works for them, but I am on team SWEET JESUS HELL NO STAY AWAY FROM MY UTERUS.

My husband’s parents invited a cousin and his wife to ours. They never RSVPed. They showed up with their 10 UNINVITED CHILDREN. UNANNOUNCED. What is wrong with people?

My brother would consistently stop for CinnaBun at the rest stop on his way to Thanksgiving dinner

Are you nearing the end of your IUDs life cycle?

For a few years while I was in college/living across the country, my mom and her doc were convinced she was in menopause...until I’d come home to visit, then BAM she’d get her period right away. One time it even happened to my aunt who had the same situation of thinking she was in menopause. I guess I was the…

I think that’s one of the scariest things about parenting, honestly. You can do everything right (or everything wrong) and you really don’t have much say in the outcome in a lot of respects. My husband’s brother is currently in jail after issues related to his heroin addiction, and we regularly discuss what we can do…

Yeah, I am also concerned about pee but I know way too many people who are capable to cleaning up dog poop and just DON’T, so that came out first.

I had the exact same thought...

I feel like walking/running is fine...but don’t take your dog for a walk through there. There’s something about my dog taking a shit on someone’s final burial place that doesn’t seem right.

One thing my parents did that was great was they did not fight in front of the kids. I didn’t realize it until my older brother commented on it when I was graduating high school, but they were always a united front, even though I know they might not have always agreed 100% on everything. They respected each other and…

I’m still sitting here staring at the screen trying to figure this out.

Thank god Manson died so we can get that Helter Skelter shit going

There was a woman yesterday at the blood donation center who immediately whipped out her phone as soon as she was hooked up to take a picture. The phlebotomist knew right away and said, “ah, Facebook?”

My husband had the septo-part about 3 weeks ago (and a few other things to clean out/help with drainage of the sinuses). He can breath for the first time in YEARS and his nose actually drains now, which is great. His snoring is much better after the surgery, praise everything. Use the nasal spray LOTS (like, more than…

BAHAHAHAH

#OLDSKOOLFILTER

See, I’m confused by this...I’m grey on everything except lately I’m not grey on Deadspin. Alas, I have not been followed by a staff member (that I’m aware of). I DON’T UNDERSTANDDDDDDDD.

It’ll be an adjustment but before you know it, your pup with be OBSESSED with the baby. My dog, bless her heart, HATES strangers. She hates non-strangers coming near our house. After a WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT period, followed by I WANT TO GO SMELL THAT AND YOU WON’T LET ME, she fell in love hard. Now we have two…