This is exactly what I was going to post. Bravo.

Oh my god I have eaten balut. I was in high school, on a religious retreat that was required to get confirmed in the church (catholic). On the first night, we has to do trust exercises with a partner in which we were led around the room blindfolded while our partner spoon fed us stuff. The lady running the retreat was…

I mean this sincerely: there is no way to say the phrases "I will argue against the servers" and "think these servers need to suck it up," without being an AWFUL human being.

I mean, is it possible to say that Craig sounds like a snobby dick without making it about #notallmidwesternchristians? Because that's where I am. I don't think Midwestern Christians are oppressed, but that whole paragraph just sounds rude and is also pretty unnecessary to the story. It's less oppression and more…

this is it. this is the one. here we go.

Really. You have sex with every woman who ever speaks to you. Really.

If you give a fake number, it's because you never want to see him again. Also, no, I am not interested in finding out if he's going to violently explode after he has repeatedly not taken "no" as an answer or even bothered to read any of my body language saying I want him to stop harassing me. If it's a fake number,…

"Please be specific"

Ok, so next time maybe say that instead of saying that any woman that goes to a club doesn't have any worth.

HE STARTED IT

YO THE PLURAL OF CAMPUS IS CAMPUSES, NOT CAMPUS', for fuck's sake. That is an appalling use of an apostrophe.

This whole DB could just be pics of Uzo Aduba being happy and Taylor Kitsch attempting to emote and I would be a-ok with it.

The Prince GIF got me thinking: Viola Davis and Allison Janney buddy cop movie?

Thanks for linking to a website that is not Jezebel to prove how Jezebel feels about a thing. That's fun.

No, it hasn't.

This took me a minute, and now I think you're the smartest person on this side of the web.

Maybe he means you're like Cher?

Honey, I don't know how bad my reputation has gotten, but I promise you I'm not having sex with anyone commenting on this post. Trust. Although sorry to disappoint!

i was buggin about driving for a while but it's honestly the best thing i ever did.