this is why i only ever hook up with the girls from tinder because one time i hooked up w/ this guy

"perform cunnilingus on vaginas that tasted 'like very rare steak' "

Blimey, this is 30 years ago now but I remember going on a date to a posh West End restaurant with a boy who grew up on typical English fare, who was convinced that mange tout was a veggie mix where you get to 'eat everything'. Would he listen to me when I told him what it was? Pfft!

Pfft, tell that to my BA. I procrastinated on every assignment I had and wrote a good 90% of my papers the night before they were due. I still managed to pull As on almost all of them.

There's MORE. With CATS.

Yeah, who knew that making good, genuine conversation where you ask about a girl's interests works better than being anti-social or a perverted creep or a PUA negging jerk. Being a good conversationalist never goes out of style.

I will love him forever and no one can convince me otherwise!

okcupid has the same abbreviation as oklahoma city because they are BOTH TERRIFYING WASTELANDS

the dirty filmmaker (for those of you following along with this saga) and i met on tinder (my first actual tinder date ever!!!) and i knew i wanted to see him bc he asked what i was doing, i told him i was at the one direction concert, and he messaged me back 10 minutes later saying "i took a quiz to see which one i…

females

he should have "shook her a bit to calm her down." Great advice. Why don't you go try that with an angry bear?

You are garbage.

Maybe it's because I'm not as svelte as I'd like to be, but I find the prospect of changing in an airplane bathroom baffling.

I wear a tuxedo when I fly, but only on flights after 6pm.

"Horne noted that "it is extremely rare — if not non-existent — for a woman to have an abortion because the pregnancy posed a risk to her life."

I honestly don't give two fucks about football, but I get so annoyed when people talk shit about Baltimore and the people living there. Only we can talk shit about our shitty city lmao

Edgy, brah.

That's a fabulous idea. Perhaps Antiques Roadshow Baltimore 2057 will feature a rare example of a Rice Jersey Folk Art Quilt, valued at $37,000,000 Plinko chips, or whatever we will be using for currency in that era.

FUCK YES, BALTIMORE!!!!!

Well at least it was just a terrible joke, instead of a good joke with bad delivery.