I made this for you.

As stupid as the GOP might be with their ideological battle against things like funding the pill, perhaps its time to ask where the American voter has been all this time. I mean, America is a democracy, at some point people voted for the guys who think shutting down the government is preferable over finding some sort…

Nothing I love more than having to go to work anyway and maybe not get paid because these asshats in congress can't realize that the ACA is LAW and just because you hate socialism/communism/black people/women, doesn't mean you should be wasting everyone's time and money trying to get rid of it. But it's ok, they'll…

Women. If they aren't destroying society with their whoredom, they're menstruating all over the Constitution.

I was just told that I'm an "excepted" employee. That means I get to come to work and maybe get paid. Fuck you Congress.

33% of Ukranians are native Russian speakers. It is not unreasonable that her preferred language is Russian.

i hope they're both sitting on the couch staring uncomfortably ahead at Orange is the New Black.

I've seen Law and Order SVU enough times to know how this will play out.

Have you tried talking to his ex-wife?

My best friend's ex husband is like this, except he has terrible taste in damaged women with damaged families. If there is any justice, someday he's going to wind up in many pieces in a barrel in the desert.

What the hell is a 'glass' of wine?

IT WAS ONE TIME IN UNDERGRAD OKAY. I CLAIM MY CHOICE.

HEY. IT'S LONELY IN THE MIDWEST. GAWD.

That gif is the most perfect thing EVER.

That is easily in the best top 5 gifs I've ever seen.

I'm just a gray but I'm like

Just remember, it's a toast not a roast, so play nice. If you can, recall the moment you realized your friend had found "the one". If you're not a fan of the groom you can use the "you are a lucky guy to be marrying my friend and here's an example of how special she is" route. Open or close with a laugh, and it's…

this thread killed me. best of the night. it was USELESS and GIFY and so ONTD-esque. it was perfection.