I’m kinda shocked at the Paris Hilton look. It’s not a bad dress but it’s so ill fitting on her. 

Truly. Did they mean Arianne Grande and Rowdy Roddy Piper?

I heard earlier reports that in the downtime, they used the guns for target practice with live rounds. Who would have had to be a part of that? The Armorer.

I skipped to the end and was “meh”

But aren’t you fascinated by how paper routes worked in some random small town 35 years ago, hmmm?

Yes! Finally someone has the guts to say it. I’ve been to so many “parties” where they want to go bowling.

I wanted you to come to my house and whisper this into my ears as I fall asleep, it's so deliciously calming.

I gave my sister a weighted blanket last Christmas- It’s a great gift and she loved it but...weighted blankets are, uh heavy. And she had flown in for the visit. If she flew home with it, the extra baggage charge would have been like $75 and shipping it was just as costly. My mom can’t stand the blanket as it “hurts…

I had a boss who hated me- everyone else in the department got these really nice beer mugs- he gave me a package of peppermint patties with the discount bin sticker still attached.

Man, that was me at the start of every school year.... “This new Trapper Keeper will make it so I never forget a homework assignment or lose a worksheet!” Cut to three weeks later- it’s just filled with pot seeds and shake. 

None of them know what to do with their hands. They look like noone has picked them for their kickball team.

I've seen (probably here on The Root) a KKK of Karens. 

Yes! I just looked it up and came across this gem of a sentence:

In the 80s when I was 13, me and my two best friends all bought douches. We were going to a party that night with my friends older brothers and for whatever reason, we thought douching was a pretty cosmopolitan, sexy lady thing to do. The one I got was called “white flowers”

Getting the brand new TV Guide each week was such a pleasure. I would read it cover to cover, circling all the shows I wanted to watch for the week. Sometimes you had to make hard choices! That’s Incredible or Square Pegs on Monday night!

please tell me you are a scientist or an engineer or at least someone with a giant blackboard where you have equations written out. 

HOLY COW, me too!!! Thats why I couldn’t take a bubble bath- the water had to be clear so I could see any shark coming up through the drain or down through the faucet.

Doc Artle HAS to be Will Ferrell.

I scrolled through this comment as fast as I could when I saw where it was headed.

Just wait until Mike Tyson dies.