Japan’s police use a standard paint scheme nationwide so they’re a lot easier to spot:

My buddy Kyle, his dad was a judge, and we were playing touch football in the street when we were six or seven, maybe ten, and my other friend Mike was quarterback and he was like “Go deep, way deep” and Kyle ran for, I dunno, had to be seven or eight seconds, just forever,and I was covering him and by then we were…

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

I had an accident in graduate school, where I was studying nuclear physics. I was exposed to an enormous amount of tritium, which combines with oxygen in your body to form heavy water. The treatment was to drink a 12-pack of beer per day and as much coffee as I could stand to turn over the water in my body faster.

Cool story, Habib: My grad school buddy had immigrated from Lebanon in the late 80s because shit was getting out of hand. His first month in Alabama, he heard the tornado sirens go off, then he hid under the kitchen counter in his apartment. Bonus: He lived alone, off campus, and knew no neighbors. He was there for…