Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

I had an accident in graduate school, where I was studying nuclear physics. I was exposed to an enormous amount of tritium, which combines with oxygen in your body to form heavy water. The treatment was to drink a 12-pack of beer per day and as much coffee as I could stand to turn over the water in my body faster.

Cool story, Habib: My grad school buddy had immigrated from Lebanon in the late 80s because shit was getting out of hand. His first month in Alabama, he heard the tornado sirens go off, then he hid under the kitchen counter in his apartment. Bonus: He lived alone, off campus, and knew no neighbors. He was there for…