TOTALLY loyal cockroaches. He could shoot someone, and they would still live in his housing projects.

Also reporting from DC, where we have an epic video of deer frolicking down the middle of a deserted city street.

I know a little Belgian

See, this is just like the time I very innocently said that I don’t like or trust Belgians and people misinterpreted what I said to somehow be anti-Belgian when all I meant is there shouldn’t be a waffle surcharge for a Brunch buffet.

This is a fun game! Let’s see what Google tells me...

This is delightful, and since Google autocompletes differently on different days and in different regions, I tried making my own. Apparently I’m a rather creepy girl named Earl who’s really into dancing? I’m pretty okay with the job where I get drunk and then make laws, though. That sounds fun.

I get why he hates being found in human form. It's lonely being from another planet, never loved for your true alien life form. It's hard to explain using a human language but it's kind of like a squid but with more eyes and constantly screaming.

this is actually pretty funny

I’m in my 50s. I have so many stories of how women had to go through hell to get an abortion or birth control and what happened when they couldn’t get one or both.

That would be the worst thing. It’s so intimate!

Yeah you really just gotta make sure there’s no poop in the toilets

Not side eye, but...

You guysssss, motivate me to work out before the person I hired for the explicit purpose of motivating me to work out arrives.

@ least Lenny Kravitz *has pants on* this time....

I don’t think she’s looked like she’s enjoyed anything since about 2002, which is one of the things I love about her. She’s high priestess of the bored smirk.

I’m just picturing a coroner looking down at you, shaking his head in weary resignation and muttering, “When, oh when, will these kids learn?”

Well, the last time we all talked about it here was probably in the fall.

That’s OK. Have you tried 68-ing? or Maybe 67?

I love Rainn Wilson for owning up to it.