He never sets off my Skeeve Alarm either. How does he do it? Totally not my type but damn he's sexy.
Gimme Some Sugar
gimmesomesugar
Can you imagine? Tomorrow in school they get to crow, “Guess what my dad wrote!”
I don’t think he meant to invoke his dick’s weird soft spot, but he did.
I did not know that statistic about preschoolers. The relative pressure inside and outside of my skull just changed dramatically.
So many dicks in my face and you’d think I'd be happy...
Not sure how Winona overlaps with her career, what a strange ZEN DAYAGRAM
To add to that desperation, it’s also like he knows he will never be more than a Governor.
We can close the comments now. That was everything.
Okay, but realistically, there’s no way she’s eaten at a Red Lobster in the last 15 years, right?
Well for starters, according to the CDC roughly 50% of pregnancies in the United States are unintended pregnancies. So, it’s not “safe to assume” that a pregnancy is wanted, regardless of how enticing that idea is. It’s just not true.
It is weird to me when people deliberately pose photos with their baby to look like Mary and Jesus.
I honestly don’t know which part of your comment is the funniest.
I’m suddenly reminded of that SNL sketch where James Bond is diagnosed with hundreds of STI’s and has to call every person he’s had sex with.
Did you also caption the photo “sending you so much love” as though you were addressing your great aunt who lives in the old country rather than the tiny baby currently in your arms?
I didn’t think I would have an opportunity to use this again so soon.
OMG OMG OMG OMG.
“So this nice lady gave me a dollar through the window of her car. I touched her on the arm to thank her and then asked her the time. And she started rambling about Jesus and Satan! Totally crazy like! And she wouldn’t even look at me! Dudes, I was so freaked out, I thought she was going to run me over with her car!”