Gimme Some Sugar

Right??? I’m currently too nervous to inquire about freelancing, but shit if this is considered printable, maybe I don’t need to be nervous! Maybe I’m fucking great at writing! MAYBE I’M THE BEST WRITER IN THE WORLD. Read more

Honestly whichever candidate runs on a platform of airline regulation in the next presidential election is the one I will vote for. Where the hell is the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt when you need him? Read more

‘I am also on the Genghis Khan diet, which is recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed.” Read more

Also apparently watch out for Chris Christie. Read more

Seriously? What a bunch of disgusting creatures. Read more

Later, the user posted: “I killed 15 today because of [the second woman].” Read more

But what those women wear behind closed doors in the company of other women would blow your fucking mind if you think their public garb is representative of their whole wardrobe. Read more

Exactly, I need to lose some weight and am honestly making the effort. I have a coworker who lost 85lbs over three years. He completely gave up alcohol and hasn’t had bread or pasta in three years. Read more

He looks like someone put George Lucas in a microwave Read more

I thought it was Kim Jong Un who didn’t poop! Oh, well. Boy is she going to get a surprise when she delivers that baby! Read more

This is why I sleep with a parasitic wasp in each ear. Once that cockroach crawls in, he’s in for a BIG surprise. Read more

God, this woman is insufferable.

That’s exactly why I quit watching Weeds. After the first season I just wanted to punch Nancy in the face and tell her to grow the fuck up. Watching someone self destruct, in slow motion, on repeat, isn’t interesting after all. Who knew?? Read more

I thought Inner Space was fun. :\ Read more

Based on your description, this guy sounds like a well-meaning but misguided pest. Read more

I mean, the little peplum dress and the matching bow in her cloud of natural curls? Her little kid glasses? Read more

Seriously, as uncomfortable as it will be telling her not to come, picture the alternative: she shows up.