He looks like some monster combined Pugsley with Jim Norton

now I’m trying to figure out how I can work “flank shaved” into daily conversation:)

Torn on this one...I love movies about female friendship, I like the actors (haaayyy Drew, glad you’re back in a non-Sandler movie). But I hate manipulative tearjerker movies so, so much. My friends still talk about how I ruined The Notebook for them with my eye rolling and asshole commentary.

Hahaha I love “cartoon faces" on the source article ? Is that what it'd be called? It says he's 27

If you get Rumblr Premium, they’ll host your fight on an oil rig in international waters.

This is the most complicated suicide ever.

No, but it does add context to why I made mine.

This whole thing is so sad.

Preach! Even the victim tried to gaslight the witness (“that girl is crazy”), but thank glob for that witness who insisted upon telling the story to the cops on the scene so that it’d be documented.

I told him I’m getting the fuck out of here ... I heard everything. Marco said, ‘You didn’t hear shit and she wanted it all.’ I then ran out of the apartment.

It has GOT to be the same person. It’s too weird for this to be a coincidence

Honestly, I don’t know what your beef is. The two of them happened to meat under tough circumstances, and their love is rare, so let them enjoy it. It's clear they're searing hot for each other, but each of them seem to maintain a cool center and I think that's admirable. And Gwen is among the most beautiful women in…

Blen fits so well. It’s so....Blen.

Stop trying to make Gwake happen, Bobby, it is never going to happen.

I’m not drinking this Blake Shelton Kool-Aid. We’re getting Jennifer Anistoned again. The media keeps telling us he’s handsome so we’re all pretending it’s true. He is NOT GOOD LOOKING. The man is perfectly acceptable looking and I am not bashing him, but he’s no young Johnny Depp or similar. THE EMPEROR HAS NO…

That is so interesting to me, because I am no fan of Gwen Stefani’s, but I think Blake Shelton is gross. He looks like a man who stinks of booze-sweat.

New GoldenMama account?

(found near one of Ben Carson’s grain pyramids)

+1 For user name synergy.

At home with Costco cupcakes, popcorn and margaritas. The usual tradition of sitting in the dark and pretending we’re not home. Watching the final episodes of Hemlock Grove on Netflix but can’t decide where do go from there. Suggestions?

Please no. My boss is a big enough dick as it is.