I find the differences in people's reactions to fear very interesting.

You don't know me. You don't know what our disagreements are about or how they go down. I'm a careful person with other people's feelings. I never raise my voice, bring up the past, insult or threaten when I argue. I never make a long term decision when I'm angry. This is called maturity.

Please tell me more. For some reason I like to torture myself with the stupidity of people, even though I know I'm going to get a tension headache.

I hate that shit. My husband pulls the "I'll just shut up then...I guess I'm just an asshole" BS when I call him out on something and he realizes he's wrong. I don't let him get away with it though. I know he's smarter and more mature than that if he gives it a second thought.

Thanks. Seriously needed that.

Yeah, I realized how upset I was when I burst into tears at the sight of them. Relief crying is weird.

I understand. I'm conflicted too, and I may be doing the wrong thing. I just don't know how to go about being a good ally without listening and accepting what POC are saying, and trying to not make a bigger mess of things while trying to help.

It's completely relevant to the post at hand. This essay directly addresses this issue of how POC feel about our involvement, and it isn't the first I've read that indicates we are fucking it up.

I guess I just figure listening to what multiple POC have said about the issue, regarding white people involving themselves in the problem in an way they consider obnoxious, is more important than what I feel about the matter.

Yeah, exactly. I still think there's a chance you will offend people you didn't want to offend, because some feel that our involvement, any involvement, is condescending, but that's your choice to make.

Okay. Hopefully none of my friends were offended when I offered my sympathy. I'll ask them if in the future I should keep my feelings about these kind of things to myself. It's probably individual.

Donate, vote, write your representatives, shun the racists among you, talk to your meatspace friends and family about the issue, but don't yell your good deeds from the mountaintop (facebook, twitter, etc.) because it cheapens them, especially in the eyes of some of the people you want to help.

Agreed.

I have addressed this a few times with other posters, but I never said to sit by. Being quiet is not the same as being silent. Vote, donate, educate those people close to you that don't understand, but let POC lead the way (this is where the voting and donating come in), but don't make posts on social media about the…

I never said to be silent, I said to be quiet. That means doing good without proclaiming your goodness.

I didn't say it was a black issue. Tell anyone you see committing an act of racism that you won't stand for it in your presence, let your close friends know (in person) how you feel about the issues, etc.

I'm sorry, but in discussions like this one it is very hard to tell if someone is being sarcastic. Are you agreeing with me or do you think I'm full of it?

We've been winning for a very long time. I think it's okay for us not to win this one, whatever that means.

I think we should delete the trolls, and be outraged, but also be quiet about it.

He's not angry though, he's having a blast.