“my moderate to severe plaque psoriasis”

You do realize they are all computers? Every single thing you mentioned? They compute stuff. Are you thinking a computer is a only a Desktop?

Well a lot are also close calls. I was flying back from Europe a few weeks ago, and stupidly ate a normal breakfast of yogurt, fruit and coffee before getting on board. Then about two hours before landing the fiber kicked into over drive, and it was a tense couple of minutes waiting for the person in the bathroom…

Throw him off a bridge. Preferably a tall one that doesn’t span a river.

Exactly! Find the people who made this commercial, encase them in a block of cement with Ajit Pai, and offload them in the middle of the fucking ocean. The Arctic Ocean at that. No one will ever bother to recover their remains then.

I’ve pooped in some mildly skeezy places in my day, and I can tell you one thing, you’re never served by trying to wait that poop out. The longer you wait means the longer amount of time other filthy cretins have to make an already unpleasant facility worse. Dude should’ve just bit the bullet and pooped during the…

That ad really pisses me off. Don’t pretend you don’t know what a computer is, you little fucker!

That commercial annoys me more than anything.

That Apple iPad girl? She’s lying. She knows what a computer is. Don’t play dumb with me, little girl. Typing away on an iPad in a Brooklyn backyard is sucky and you know it. Get a real laptop.

He’s a beer vendor in Denver who accidentally stepped on the sidelines once and John Elway decided that was enough to qualify him as a ‘coach’.

Backdoor Shenanigans is the name of my Gaelic-core G.G. Allin tribute band.

Let’s all look at the dumb guy again.

If all the games are played in snow, then the NFL will finally make a rule about throwing snow in your opponent’s face. Which is definitely a thing players should do and not a terrible idea from a very dumb person at all.

Vance Joseph

GO REDHAWKS!

He meant the Redhawks.

Who the fuck are the Redskins?

Excellent. You didn’t even have to reche for that one. (unlike this one lol)

+1 bug-eyed stare

Really nice work here Drew. You might even say this joke was... called well.