Can anybody possibly read every word of a Haisley screed? Good God.

I think this is more of an argument for how lame the league is now. The ONLY way to build a team anymore is to have a serviceable-to-good QB, which has just made the market for them completely irrational since there’s apparently only like 10 guys on Earth at any given time who meet that definition.

I think something like “increasing access to affordable healthcare” is disappointing for a lot of folks who think that something like Medicare-for-all is the only moral solution to this country’s health care clusterfuck.

YIKES.

I read it like so

“Luckily for them, they have more money than god thanks to the backing of the Abu Dhabi royal family which owns the club—an unlimited fount of cash that for various reasons doesn’t get enough criticism for its shady, warmongering, human rights-abusing source, which in a just world would see Man City’s monetary outlays…

Well, the salaries add up in the Trade Machine, which all of us regular Simmons readers know is the sole criteria for NBA swaps.

That is truly, positively, astounding.

I actually felt palpably relieved to read “false rumor” instead of “duhr fake news duhr.” Quite a world we’ve made here.

It’s just *kisses fingers like chef* that the conclusion he draws after describing him as such is that he’s overrated. Immediately after describing, essentially, the perfect winger.

.

It will never...repeat, NEVER...stop being funny for Haisley to describe things as “butt.” How delightfully juvenile! My expectations of staid sporting news are turned so deliciously upside down!

I guess this means the announcers are learning, at least? A decade ago Hines Ward, wearing the same damn uniform, would’ve been fellated once again as “the best blocking WR in NFL history” for this type of cheapshit pop behind the play/against the grain.

Well, this is the logical culmination of 20 years of soccer color guys debating whether or not “ooohh there’s contact there” on every single slow-mo replay rather than judging severity, intent, etc. You might’ve just found a nut, Billy Blind Squirrel.

....Bill Simmons?

Suspending a guy like this and taking away both his livelihood and any semblance of structure is about as negative of a response as possible. But hey, it’s the NFL I guess.

Read the entire thing and then commented within like, five to six minutes of it being posted? Nice.

This is most certainly a *thing* for cops in general, I’ve noticed.

Just LOL’d at my desk, thanks for that

Haisley outdoes himself on such a regular basis at this point that I’ve started reading right over stuff like that. Good God.