“The News has filed a pair of FOIL requests for those police logs...”

So what? Plenty of Pats fans went out that night and caught crabs.

Next up: Chris Christie suing Carvel over his obvious inspiration to Cookie Puss.

My driving instructor did this same thing to me. I accepted, but only because I was pretty shitfaced at the time.

‘Aside from the fact that safe drivers shouldn’t be on the road’

Undress that dog before you feed it. It’ll choke during the first round, for sure.

2 minutes for ruffing

We should have it in a country where the police execute ethnic minorities with relative impunity! No? We should hold it in the nation that imprisons the most people, both in absolute numbers as well as by rate? No. Should we hold it in a country where the political system is so far in bed with the industries it should…

Not to mention that you’re accusing anyone who disagrees with immoral, unnatural, and unhealthy behavior as “homophobic” and having said “awful things.”

I’d personally like to thank you OP for all the wonderful laughs I had at your expense. You’re just hilarious. Great job!

Man. I really thought this was leading to a punch line :(

You can literally feel the high school dropout townie dripping off this post

Wow, lots of brittle Pats fans biting on this.

bro do you even lift

I’m miserable when single, but when I’m in a relationship, I so badly want to be single again :P

“Illegal baby parts trade.”

it me

I remember seeing them on t.v. in their bunny outfits, which honestly weren’t all that scandalous, and I remember at school we had a “what do you want to be when you grow up” discussion and I said “A Playboy Bunny” and my parents had to come in for a conference.

Oh God I just realized how much he looks like Gareth Keenan.