Is it wrong that the first thing I think of in this story is "Taco Bell employees that sue for sexual harassment probably have to remove about 3 digits from the awards amount"? Then I'm wondering why? Are the genitals of lower wage workers not as inviolate?

*fart*

This is so sad for Broncos fans. What a great owner he's been.

Shut the fuck up.

Fuck you I ain't turning on my damn oven in the summer.

Also, this guy-

The other week, while staying at a hotel, my eight year old daughter (a passionate gymnast who CRUSHES cartwheels) and I watched an episode of American Ninja Warrior and she asked me whether girls could be Ninja Warriors. 'Of course they can,' I said, 'and probably very good ones, especially if they do gymnastics.'…

You're telling me asking players to play variably within an 8 hour window causes them to be in the bottom half of the league for the majority of the last few decades?

Manning isn't an example, really. He went to Denver because they already had excellent wideouts, a decent line and a pretty good defense. If you just plugged him in anywhere, say, Oakland - they are not going to the playoffs.

Sorta like people who refer to Southern California as SoCal.

Love her style.

You...you're being a shithead to someone over Wreck-It-Ralph and ParaNorman?

...you fucking kidding with this shit?

How the fuck does this shit get on the front page of Deadspin?

Just proof that we're not as civilized as we claim to be. Nobody can understand nuance or degrees of guilt. Everything has to be forced into a simplistic good or bad category, and it's either undeniably good and perfect or unarguably evil and deserves harsh punishment.

my little terror...

Touche salesman....

No lie, this happened to me on my honeymoon! My husband and I were sitting at the bar on the beach outside our resort, and this turtle came up and laid her eggs. It took a surprisingly short amount of time and she was back in the ocean. The best part is that since the turtles are endangered, the bartender called up…

I live adjacent to one of the largest turtle nesting sites in the world and I have to say that this is remarkable and miraculous and rare enough that I have no witty or snarky retort. Simply amazing. The leatherback is a majestic and rare creature. Wow.