You make excuses for racism.

I was in Long Beach, CA this summer, and learned that as a city, it is at the forefront of the emerging “Craft Jerky” movement.

...and don’t be pretentious about it.

You seem to know a lot about polar bears. I was thinking about walking around in a pack of them, so could you give me some other instances where the bear won’t kill me. I ask because - again - you seem to know a lot about polar bears.

At first I thought you were being an asshole, but then when you said there were almost ten articles you had to skip, I realized how rough you really have it. Stay strong; things really do get better,

I’m a guy, you dolt. Enjoy your lunch of Doritos and Mountain Dew. See ya.

Fuck you, speak for yourself! I’ve never done that.

Get an education, dumbfuck. Your ignorance is showing.

Thanks, please let your accidental baby know how much you planned her existence into this life. I’m sure she’ll love to be able to count that number on her finger.

EXACTLY!!!

dumb

Maybe Taylor Swift is a little young and poppy for a whack job Tea Party zealot, but Celine Dion and Jerry Seinfeld both seem about as safe and boring as you can get -- perfect for a whack job Tea Party zealot. And it’s not like Swift is pushing any envelopes -- she’s as milquetoast and uncontroversial as you can get…

Your mom is disappointed in you. She also knows you’re racist and is embarrassed of you.

Sorry in advance for stepping all over your First Amendment rights, but... you’re a dumb ass.

Whoever got their buttstock seized is obviously an amateur. I bring loads of it across the border every time I travel.

I was thinking of checking out the new season, but I was kinda wondering... Is The Simpsons still as funny as it used to be?

There’s a combination of things that make for a great title sequence. A good theme song can sometimes deliver better memories of the show than the show itself. Expert editing can mimic the show aesthetically. Information needs to be delivered in the credits so we understand the characters more. But the overall…

What is the sound of one hand making jerk off motions?

After the game, Dog stated, “We played a creative game. We showed a lot of heart. We played a bunch of cowards. The best team did not win today - I strongly, firmly believe that.”