No thanks, I’d like to be able to masturbate to Stormy Daniels again at some point without the Donald showing up and ruining everything.

Sounds neat. I think I’ll give it a try!

They have a (meal) plan.

Onto its roof.

Outside of a professional laundry, the only people likely to plop down $1000 for this machine probably have hired help anyway.

Kiri-kin-tha’s First Law of Metaphysics is that “Nothing unreal exists”

“The Simpsons (Fox, 8 p.m.): Special time”

Load of crap. The Buffalo soldiers of Blackdom were not just experienced vets, they legendary (if their reputations were to be believed). They had the advantage of home field, experience, AND surprise... and they got whipped. The Griffin gang lost, what maybe five men? The whole sequence was contrived, lacking in…

Bradley Whitford is one of the good ones. In fact, he’d have voted for Obama for a third time if possible.

I hate Trump as much as the next guy, The problem is that he didn’t tweet that:

(holds up sign) “Not Penny’s Security Company”

The daughter at least has her shit mostly together

Hm. How about, “Amanda Knox Writes Tribute to the Dead Roommate She Did Not Murder Ten Years Ago”?

Why the change?

No cookie born of cake can call itself a proper cookie, for they are bastards and cannot inherit from their mother’s rightful husband, who is bread.

The person who decided to sing Hallelujah as Clinton was not the person in charge of booking Trump as a guest.

I am a beer snob, you drink whatever the hell you want. As long as you are happy and not hurting anyone you do not need to explain yourself to anyone.

This is horrible, and seriously so gross. On a brighter note, I encourage all of you to check out Natalie Morales in one of the greatest one-season wonders of all time, The Middleman. Crime-fighting! Camp! A pancake shop called “Batter of the Bulge”!

They did a big article on it yesterday.