Please tell me I’m not the only one that Googled what ramp is. Melissa’s Produce tells me this:

Sesame Street has the sweet, sweet HBO money now. If CTW funding goes under, just expect more dragons and robot hookers.

Yay!

I’m willing to wager good money that this will not be in the top 20 bizarre things that happen in Walmart parking lots in Florida in 2018.

^^^This. We have one really nice theater near us (reclining seats and a ban for under-18s after 9 pm HEYO!) but it’s expensive. If I’m going to pay for the price of a ticket, it’s because the movie experience is improved by seeing it with a state-of-the-art sound system on an enormous screen. Most movies nominated for…

Why bother with a theater when you can just watch them at home (about) three months after their release?

Per Gawker policy, the only way to be financially successful is to be an awful human being who will be up against the wall come the revolution. Nobody ever comes by money through honesty, talent, or hard work.

This is all to say that they shot Bring It On at my high school and it probably wouldn’t have happened if Betsy DeVos were the Secretary of Education.

No, it is a caricature of liberal barely qualifiedism. I don’t need the best pilot in the world. I do need o e who knows the difference between plane and plain.

So where’s the plagiarism aside from the five words “back to you... the people”?

How do you get a job where your boss lets you rant about stuff and that’s it? I would be perfect for that. Can I be Hamilton Jr. and write these while you’re on vacation?

Hamilton, I’m beginning to suspect that you don’t think too highly of this Trump fellow.

So when he “Sensually prepares” his meat, he gets fame and fortune.

I feel bad for that poor hideous fish everyone’s freaking out about. Like, in my head, his name was Bob and he was a super nice guy and when he went into the fish equivalent of Cheers, everyone was like, “Bob!” He donated to charity. He helped little old lady fish across the street. No, he wasn’t much to look at but…

Lizard People. The eyes are a dead give-away.

i only had one job to do as a parent...keep her off the pole.

Isn’t every Kevin James sitcom a reboot of The Honeymooners?

I recall that they already “flipped the script” in the sixties by turning the cast into animated cavemen.