Then Kevin Spacey doesn't like you, doesn't recruit you, and doesn't give you a new robot arm. After a quick stay at Walter Reed the Marines dump you on the street with one of those hook hands, screaming pain due to phantom limb sensations, and a number for grief counseling that will set you up with an appointment…

I am not that fan of cheap humour . like when Jon Stewart said that gamers dont get any girls, or when Conan, (well) when he talks like he does.

I never noticed that was Sid, but you also have to ask yourself. Who wears the same shirt you wore as a child as an adult?

I sent a telegram to my servants asking them to clutch some pearls and pray for youths.

Yes and yes.* I get uncomfortable with the puritanical attitude of "slutty girls and their slutty slut clothes". If you're a grown adult and it's within the realms of public decency, knock yourself out with those leopard skin lederhosen.
I do however get bothered when I see mini bras and leather-look knickers for 4…

I don't watch the show (I don't begrudge or judge those that do, it's just not my cup of tea) and I don't generally read tabloids (see above disclaimer) but I was waiting for a doctors appointment the other day and picked up a magazine to while away the time. I swear I couldn't flick over more than two pages without…

What will it take to make the Kardashians go away? Why does every damn media outlet peddle their obnoxious crap? I'm literally physically exhausted by having my eyes and ears and brain assaulted by these people each and every day. There is no safe haven.

Years ago, I was living in New Orleans, where we take Halloween (and indeed, any Drinking Occasion) very seriously, and my parents and grandmother happened to come in on November 1 for brunch on the top floor of an upscale local hotel. Afterward, we were riding back down in the elevator, and it stopped to let on a…

I don't want you to think that the fact that I can't speak or write English on even a third grade level is because I'm a mis- and/or undereducated moron, so I'm going to claim that I speak my own language because, unlike you, I'm never going to have to worry about anything as long as I live and I feel I need to…

You are my hero.

The only thing worse than a walk of shame is a bike ride of shame.
I was in the Netherlands and went to a party dressed as a tiger, complete with stripes and tail. Went home with a hot local, enjoyed myself thoroughly, and the next morning I had to leave early as he went to rowing practice. Unfortunately the dude…

My freshman year of college I rented out a room in a 10 bedroom house one block off of greek row. My roommates and I decided to throw a huge party for halloween and there was a steady stream of revelers in and out of the house all night long, party hopping. There was one girl with the coolest DIY costume I'd ever…

Oh god

I've had complete strangers point out to friends that I look like Velma from Scooby Doo. So I empathise.

I saw a drunk dude wearing a striped poncho and a tacky sombrero + a gunslinger type belt that held plastic shotglasses trying to hail a taxi.

He dropped/stepped on his hat, stooped to retrieve it and haphazardly placed the crushed sombrero back on his head, then he removed the last empty shotglass from his belt and…

Awwww, a glitter trail!

I think I took the wrong message from the first Toy Story... Sid's creations simply inspired me to make monstrosities out of my own toys. I have fond memories of my blade-armed Steve Urkel doll and various action figures turned sideshow attractions.

Or you know he grew up and became Steve-O...

Peeps get modern confused with contempo all day long. Visual illiteracy is real people, it's the silent killer.

Please, Quadski, like you can beat this fine piece of amphibious automotive technology. Plus, listen to that soundtrack: That's what awesome sounds like.