Next time I have an orgasm I really want to say, "Take 3 Satisfaction Tokens from the Intimacy Pool" but I'd just be talking to myself.

Under Kira's supervision, according to the source, pledges in the incoming class were called names, berated for their perceived physical flaws and imperfections, and made to perform physical tasks to the point of bruising and exhaustion.

Because this post shouldn't run without this virtuoso bit from last night's LWT:

Then you might simply have flown under the radar. Surprisingly, some of the people I talked to while writing this have obviously fake names. However, because they're not similar to porn bots (like "Tricia Von Sexypants4u") or flagged as abusive, they don't get caught.

Well, Dempsey has finally done it. He killed rap. But he's always been a good finisher.

"MmGooooooooo Fuuuuuuuuucka Youselllllllllffffff Whorrrrre de clickbaaaaaaait"

Clint Dempsey raps like Greg Howard blogs

He's the only guy on the team who thinks this game taint too bad.

No pulse? That seems like more than just "aggravated child abuse/neglect".

Well I don't want to get sued.

Thanks go out to whomever added the red circle - I would never have noticed without it.

Fortunately, you have that option.

Saoutchik also bodied this Delahaye 175S which was owned by Diana Dors.

"My first thought was that this guy obviously caused way more dollars in damage than that impound fine could have possibly been."

Story time!

I'm advancing an alternative theory: The butt is the only real part of her. Nicki Minaj is a sentient butt with a robot attached.

And then Ditka and Keyshawn stepped in to glorify their fatherly asskickings. Ugh.

Darren Rovell goes to the cemetery to report unauthorized uses of song lyrics on tombstones.